Ruse

• Indecisive Video Customer: They say so much, but they never tell you if it's any good. Are either one of these any good? Sir?
• Randal Graves: What?
• Indecisive Video Customer: Are either one of these any good?
• Randal Graves: I don't watch movies.
• Indecisive Video Customer: Well, have you heard anything about either one of them?
• Randal Graves: I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs.
• Indecisive Video Customer: You mean you haven't heard anybody say anything about either one of these?
• Randal Graves: Nope.
• Indecisive Video Customer: [turns around, then shows Randal the same movies] Well, what about these two?
• Randal Graves: Oh, they suck.
• Indecisive Video Customer: These are the same two movies! You weren't paying any attention!
• Randal Graves: No, I wasn't.
• Indecisive Video Customer: I don't think your manager would appreciate it if...
• Randal Graves: I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.
• Indecisive Video Customer: I beg your pardon?
• Randal Graves: Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me.
• Indecisive Video Customer: I was only pointing out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying.
• Randal Graves: And I hope it feels good.
• Indecisive Video Customer: You hope *what* feels good?
• Randal Graves: I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
• Indecisive Video Customer: Well, this is the last time I rent here.
• Randal Graves: You'll be missed.
• Indecisive Video Customer: Screw you!
• [leaves]
• Randal Graves: [runs to the door] Hey! You're not allowed to rent here anymore!
• Jay: [outside; has no idea what's going on] Yeah!