Supernatural, “Reading is fundamental”, S07E21
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(via rmonz)
Ruse
| Indecisive Video Customer: | They say so much, but they never tell you if it's any good. Are either one of these any good? Sir? |
| Randal Graves: | What? |
| Indecisive Video Customer: | Are either one of these any good? |
| Randal Graves: | I don't watch movies. |
| Indecisive Video Customer: | Well, have you heard anything about either one of them? |
| Randal Graves: | I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs. |
| Indecisive Video Customer: | You mean you haven't heard anybody say anything about either one of these? |
| Randal Graves: | Nope. |
| Indecisive Video Customer: | [turns around, then shows Randal the same movies] Well, what about these two? |
| Randal Graves: | Oh, they suck. |
| Indecisive Video Customer: | These are the same two movies! You weren't paying any attention! |
| Randal Graves: | No, I wasn't. |
| Indecisive Video Customer: | I don't think your manager would appreciate it if... |
| Randal Graves: | I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am. |
| Indecisive Video Customer: | I beg your pardon? |
| Randal Graves: | Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me. |
| Indecisive Video Customer: | I was only pointing out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying. |
| Randal Graves: | And I hope it feels good. |
| Indecisive Video Customer: | You hope *what* feels good? |
| Randal Graves: | I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there? |
| Indecisive Video Customer: | Well, this is the last time I rent here. |
| Randal Graves: | You'll be missed. |
| Indecisive Video Customer: | Screw you! |
| [leaves] | |
| Randal Graves: | [runs to the door] Hey! You're not allowed to rent here anymore! |
| Jay: | [outside; has no idea what's going on] Yeah! |
Kriptonite Condoms
| T.S.: | But they're engaged. |
| Brodie: | Doesn't matter, can't happen. |
| T.S.: | Why not? It's bound to come up. |
| Brodie: | It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry her child? |
| T.S.: | Sure, why not? |
| Brodie: | He's an alien, for christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. But that would kill him. |
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